Hanging On

It's been six months since I started doing a detox diet, pretty much to the day. My skin went through some very intense detoxing for a while there. It appears to be slowly clearing, though at this point I still have extremely dry, itchy, scaly skin. It comes and goes over different areas on my body. I'm not sure what is up with it, my naturopath says that I can't still be detoxing after this long. She thinks there is something emotional that I am hanging on to. I think it is also some external influences such as water temperature and in general how difficult it is to not scratch my skin when it is so intensely itchy. My mother thinks I need to go back on my allergy shots that I stopped when I started doing my cleanse (I don't want to be pumped full of toxins anymore) and my boss says "Isn't there a pill or a shot they can give you?" which negates the entire point of all I have been working towards, a natural remedy to my skin problems with long-term health as the goal.

I'm writing this on a pretty bad day, lots of painful spots everywhere made worse by a shower this morning. It's frustrating to still not have super-duper happier skin after six months, and it is so hard to know exactly what I need to do to make it speed up healing. Well, it is obvious that I need to drink lots of water, keep my diet pretty clean, and not stress over things, which makes me itchy and leads to more scratching. It's the unknowns that are confusing: epsom bath versus epsom and baking soda? Sauna, good or bad? (Most people say it's bad for eczema; the general belief is that is is good for those who are on detox diets. I like it but sometimes cannot stand the idea of the stinging showers at the gym that are necessary afterwards. It's really common with skin issues to have such catch-22s, exercise and sweating are good, but having the sweat on sensitive skin is intensely itchy and taking the more frequent showers to get rid of it is torture.) Coconut oil--good or bad? Cotton clothes are supposed to be good for inflamed skin, but cotton, as every outdoorsperson knows, hold in moisture when the weather is as damp and rainy as it has been here recently. This type of healing is full of questions and doubts and it's hard not to get totally crazy in my diet and routine. I am prone to obsessive compulsive behaviors, so telling me not to scratch an itch is not as easy as it sounds. Anyone who says "Just don't scratch it" has never had to deal with skin like this! I wish it were so simple.

I've been struggling a bit and I think that keeping this blog can be helpful. I have had so little contact with anyone else who has issues like mine that I was hoping that this blog could help me branch out. Very few people I know are seriously into alternative health (I know people who are vegetarians, who work out, who once in a while give up drinking for an entire weekend) and very few have serious skin issues like I do. What are some good support resources for me, and how can I help others with similar issues? On that note, I have to find a way to deal with the resentment I have for people who do not practice healthy habits, who eat ice cream like it's a food group, and can drink alcohol and coffee and eat pastries, shower with hot water, use toxic body products and still have great skin. I must admit to being very resentful at times. I sometimes think I work so hard and am still suffering. It's hard for me to admit to this because I think the whole "victim" mindset is hugely egotistical and very damaging. But as summer weather arrives, and girls everywhere are baring skin, I want to be able to do it too! Hell, I just want to be able to get into a shower without first having to psych myself up to deal with the pain it will cause.

Sweet Potato Pancakes

I need to update more about my cleansing process, but I had to interject with a story of the delicious dinner I just made. It was sweet potato pancakes topped with sliced onion and avocado, fresh steamed beet greens with cider vinegar and olive oil, sliced avocado with tamari and pickled ginger, and then a tasty treat of this dairy-free dessert (very ice-cream-like) made from coconut milk and agave syrup. Super delicious!

For the sweet potato pancakes I followed a recipe in a Moosewood Cookbook, but it was basically shredded sweet potato, onion, sea salt, black pepper, garlic, a small amount of flour (I used gluten-free) and eggs. Pan-fried in coconut oil, then I put them in the oven for a few minutes with onion and avocado slices on top to warm up.